Sunday, October 4, 2026

From what I'm seeing online, some people didn't know that getting gang raped at fraternity houses while drunk is not unusual. It happened to my college roommate in fact (and may have contributed to her flunking out her first semester). The only things that are surprising about the Cornell case are that (a) she reported it- most of us don't because it'd be likely to expose us to a lot of crap for no reward, and (b) the University actually punished any of the perpetrators at all and shut down the fraternity.

My roommate's experience led to me making a rule that I wouldn't have sex with anyone under the influence unless we'd had sex before and I could more reasonably presume consent. This baffled the drunk men I rejected; I told them to get in touch when they were sober but they rarely did. I still never drink on first dates because I want to keep my wits about me. (I wish I could use it to make awkward first dates more fun and less stressful, but not only is it unsafe, I wouldn't be able to accurately assess whether I wanted a second date.)

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