Work has been awful. There's been a new crisis every week or two since the hostile takeover last winter. Most recently I've been punished over and over again for having my shit together by being handed disasters to fix. Which I know is a problem competent people face a lot, but it's particularly egregious and thankless right now, and some of the people who caused the disasters are getting raises and promotions while I'm effectively making less money than pre-pandemic. (I had the most on-the-nose anxiety dream, in which I was trying to deliver a breech baby while my coworkers were ignoring the situation and filling up their plates at a buffet.)
I got an MRI and was thinking "maybe brain cancer would be a nice break from work," which obviously isn't true but the fact that it crossed my mind says something.
I'm on the verge of rage quitting, which would be a terrible idea, but the stress and fury on top of medical issues is destroying me. On the bright side this means I'm no longer worried about getting laid off, because it would in fact be an enormous relief to collect unemployment.
I got pissy with the director one day and she lied to me about a bunch of stuff (she likes to tell people what they want to hear) but then gave me a $1000 bonus. Unfortunately I don't think that will work more than once or I'd be doing it weekly!
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